Bathing Suit....Take 2

Well now, where does our story pick up? Ah yes....right after I received my package all the way from Michegan. I was almost afraid to open it. How many times have I gone through this...how many times have I tried on clothing that wasn't what I envisioned. You always think you're gonna look like the model that is advertising the whatever it is you're interested in....you know it's true. And inevitable, they will have a size 0 model advertising a size 16 article thinking we aren't smart enough to know the difference. Anyhoo, back to the bathing suit at large. Well as a matter of fact it was NOT large....I've had training bras that were bigger than what was sent. The bottoms were perfect, and the fabric was pretty but oh my.... if this is an E cup, I must be WAY up the alphabet somewhere. What does come after ... E? Well, I did what any responsible disgruntled customer would do....I gave them a call. I won't go into all the details of my frustrating conversation with a receptionist who obviously stuffs, but I will say that I am sending that intsy bitsy excuse for a bikini top back and I'm including my new bra along with, so they will have an idea of what a woman of my stature needs, so the girls can be covered up....till next time, adios.

In Search of a Bathingsuit...part one

Been on the hunt for a "modest" bathing suit of sorts for an upcoming cruise my husband planned for us in April. The search for this elusive suit actually began years prior to this. I'm baffled why men's board shorts are a generous 20" in length and the women's are....well your cheekies would be in danger of getting sunburned. So I googled "long women's boardshorts" and most of the sights had them a whole 7" long and the cute ones were all the way up to a size 11...whoa! Well now.... I'm 5'10" and weigh in the 170 range and a size 11, 7" short ain'ta gonna work. If you go plus size, you get to look at a 450 lb model in a swimdress and a pair of panties. People don't need to see the junk in your trunk and I don't want to show all my 47 year old parts to nobody outside of my husband, who's junk is as old as mine...so there you go. Going one step further, if I were a milk cow, I would be considered a holstein, not a jersey. Finding tops that cover the mammies are...well, impossible unless you've had circus balloons implanted and I have not. I'm thinking seriously about finding some matching pillowcases and making my own. So the search continues.... till next time, adios.