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Friday, October 16, 2009

That's My Story, and I'm sticking To It!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is partially true. Only the names have been changed....... I'm protecting no one...and there are no innocent!

The weekend started out innocently enough. Three desperate cousins, in need of some time away from the responsibilities of job and family, drove literally hundreds of miles to the serene tranquility of the woods. Armed with only their wits, a few survival skills and a 30-30 rifle, they would soon discover they were almost no match for the unseen dangers lurking in the dense forest. (Translation...... Three hormonally unbalanced women cooked this weekend up and with the generosity of Sweet Farmer(cottonpicker's brother), they drove up to Sweet Farmer's cabin in Cloudcroft with five pounds of chocolate and a 12 pack of Coors light in hopes of finding a cheap tattoo parlor and a bargain at the mall. They found neither.)

Anyhoo, She Who Has White Hair, had never been around firearms and wanted to experience the thrill of the hunt. With her trusty hound by her side, she bounded through the woods in search of something small, you know, to hone her skills before attempting larger game! As you can see, this small fox was no match for this blood-thirsty woman from the great state of Texas! Nice shoes!

This, however, was not enough to satisfy the great hunter within her. So off she went, gun in one hand, lip gloss in the other, to find some meat for her teepee. Apparently, she hadn't read newly revised section in the New Mexico State Game and Fish rulebook on legal hunting seasons when she bagged this trophy bull Elk. That would be me, posing with the felon. Hope they room us together in prison....what was she thinking? While we're on the subject, the one shooting these Kodak moments...... She Who's Sicka Men, was in on all this....yeah you know who you are! Being incognito will not save you!

Back to the story......It was only a matter of time before White Hair would encounter the greatest of all predators....yeah, the one , the only grizzley bear. Taking close aim and keeping her white shoes clean, she stood her ground. A lesser woman would have run for dear life.....but not our beloved White Hair. No, she did what any proud Texas woman would do...she fluffed her hair, then shot.

That's what I'm talking about! This is what legends are made of....A little truth mixed in with a whole bunch of half truths and a few little white lies. Till next time, adios.