In Search of a Bathingsuit...part one

Been on the hunt for a "modest" bathing suit of sorts for an upcoming cruise my husband planned for us in April. The search for this elusive suit actually began years prior to this. I'm baffled why men's board shorts are a generous 20" in length and the women's are....well your cheekies would be in danger of getting sunburned. So I googled "long women's boardshorts" and most of the sights had them a whole 7" long and the cute ones were all the way up to a size 11...whoa! Well now.... I'm 5'10" and weigh in the 170 range and a size 11, 7" short ain'ta gonna work. If you go plus size, you get to look at a 450 lb model in a swimdress and a pair of panties. People don't need to see the junk in your trunk and I don't want to show all my 47 year old parts to nobody outside of my husband, who's junk is as old as mine...so there you go. Going one step further, if I were a milk cow, I would be considered a holstein, not a jersey. Finding tops that cover the mammies are...well, impossible unless you've had circus balloons implanted and I have not. I'm thinking seriously about finding some matching pillowcases and making my own. So the search continues.... till next time, adios.